Whirlwind

I feel like I am in the middle of a whirlwind. It's like there's a tornado going on all around me and I can't stop spinning. I need to blog for five minutes just to settle my thoughts.

Tomorrow is Lydie's MRI. It is 10:10 p.m. and I should have been in bed three hours ago based on the fact that I have to wake Lydie at 1:30 a.m. to feed her a bottle until she can drink no more and the fact that we have to be pulling out of the garage at 5:30 a.m. and not a second later.

I have a feeling I won't be sleeping tonight anyway.

On top of the mountain of things I need to gather for our day away tomorrow, I'm confident my mind is not going to stop running away on some crazy train until all of this is over with.


How will Lydie do with sedation?
Will she be starving and inconsolable before we even get to the hospital?
What will happen while she's undergoing the MRI?
What will I see?
What will I hear?
What will they find?
Will there be a fluid-filled sac on her spine?
Will her spine be perfectly normal?
If there is something wrong, how soon can it be corrected?
Can it be corrected at all?
What would the correction involve?
If there is nothing wrong, then how can we be certain that physical therapy will help?
What is the explanation of all of this?
How will this affect the rest of her life?
Will I ever see my daughter crawl?
Or pull up?
Or walk?
Or run?
Or climb?
Why is this happening to her?
Could I have prevented any of this?
Did I cause any of this?


Among all those questions, I cling to the truth that our God is the same God He was yesterday and the same God He will be tomorrow. And the next day. And a hundred years from now. God is God, and He alone is in control of every detail of our lives. He loves my Lydie more than I do (though I can't fathom how that's possible!), and He wants only the very best for her. And for us.

Through my Bible study this week, the Lord revealed His encouragement through a scripture He provided to me in His Word in Matthew 18:10--

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."

I am so comforted to know how much the Lord loves children. He loves them so much that He provides them with special angels--angels that can see everything going on with them on Earth and in the spiritual heavenlies, and can report back directly to the face of the Father. How awesome is that??

I have got so much left to do and my eyes are barely staying open. I need to get off of this computer and on to my list of things that need to be accomplished by 5:30 a.m.

Please keep Lydie in your prayers tomorrow. We specifically hope that her tummy will hold out and she won't get too hungry before they sedate her; that she will tolerate the sedation well and not be sick afterward; and that God's Will will be done as far as what will be found or not found through this testing. We also pray that the results will come quickly, as we will be anxious to know what the MRI reveals.

As long as I am not passed out from exhaustion by the time we get home, I will pop on the blog to give you an update of our day. I have never gotten much cell phone reception at the hospital, so those of you who might expect calls or texts, be aware that my service may be limited. But I will try.

Much love to you all! Cheers to a good night's rest!

Or at least a few hours of decent sleep before the alarm clock buzzes...