Repulsed

I love the word "repulsed." I think Julie Harrell Boucek is responsible for my using it in everyday language, and I love that it is in my arsenal of awesome vocabulary. Specifically, I love that it precisely describes how I am feeling tonight.

Number One:
I adore fall t.v. After a long, boring summer of reruns, fall t.v. swoops in to entertain and delight the masses. Your favorite shows pick up right where you left them in the spring, and a few new shows show up for a delightful surprise. It is so much fun.

Now that fall t.v. is up and running, my life doesn't feel quite so boring. I have a definite schedule every night for most of the week. On Mondays, I watch Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor. On Tuesdays, it's time for the DWTS results show and a little Boston Legal. On Wednesdays, I'm liking Private Practice, the Grey's Anatomy spin-off. And, on Thursdays, I don't miss my old favorite, the aforementioned Grey's Anatomy. This schedule was working well for me until tonight.

Danny and I both watch and critique DWTS together every Monday night, and we faithfully follow our favorites. We have been doing this routine for many seasons and have shared lots of laughs as a result of this outstanding show. As soon as DWTS over each Monday night, Danny moves to the bedroom to watch Monday Night Football while I watch The Bachelor. That plan stops tonight.

Repulsed does not even begin to describe how I feel about The Bachelor this season. I have always thought it was a dumb show, but it's one of those things that's just too much of a temptation to resist. I mostly laugh at the fact that 25 girls think they can win one man in the matter of a six or eight week television show. I laugh at the stupid things the girls will do to get the guy's attention and to get their 15 minutes of fame. It's laughable, most of the time. Tonight, however, it's sickening and it's sad.

Along with the plight to find Mr. Right in an unrealistic situation and the escapades that erupt thereafter, tonight's show displayed nothing but the sluttiest, trashiest women I have ever seen. When a woman asks a man to do a body shot off of her on their first date, there is clearly a problem. And, when a grown woman thinks that making out with a man is the best way to his heart, it's a sad statement about the world in which we live. And, it's even more disturbing that the man involved never seems to put an end to the debauchery.

This show has always included too much alcohol, too much intimacy, and too many gossipy, malicious girls, but tonight it went to a whole new level. Typically, the trashiness holds back for a few weeks. This time, it was right out in the open. I know there a few girls on there who aren't the sluts that the rest of them are, and I hope they can find someone to love in a more desirable setting. This one is too much for me to take. I officially cut The Bachelor from my weekly viewing schedule.

Number Two:
I am repulsed with being pregnant. I have always thought that pregnant women are the cutest things on the face of the earth, but I am definitely not one of them. Don't get me wrong...I feel totally and completely blessed to be fortunate enough to be a mother, and I pray every day for my baby's safety and health, but I am sickened by the fatty, slobby, boring me who is pregnant. It's just not a good look on me.

Alas, I still have three more months of this look. I don't know how I will ever make it. As if it's not already tough enough to watch your body morph into some crazy shape and form, the military doctor I saw last week added to my self-loathing by informing me that I needed to keep my weight down. He basically put me on a diet. Now, I am not a skinny girl. I was only skinny when I was three and my mother called me "Skinny Minny Jenny." Since then, I've been, well, big-boned. I am ALWAYS on a diet, about to begin a diet, or failing a diet. Why, I ask you, do I have to be on a diet while I am pregnant. It's such a stab to the self-esteem until you can't even possibly understand. It's like hearing someone say, "Hey, fattie...you're even fatter now. Good luck with all that fat." Fat, fat, fat. And all I want is some ice cream.

So, I am repulsed with this pregnancy thing. It is a miracle and a blessing, but it doesn't suit me too well. There are a million other things that repulse me about being pregnant, but I will save the details and your appetites since you are allowed to eat what you please.

Number Three:
I am repulsed by my messy house, so I have to clean all day tomorrow. I hate to clean. I especially hate sweeping the floors because I never can get all the trash to stay in the dustpan. I always seem to sweep my little heart out and then use the vacuum to get what I missed. Then, when I mop, I still see things that were missed by the vacuum. It's an endless cycle, and I never feel that my floors are as clean as they could be. Nonetheless, I will try to keep my attitude and my mood in check tomorrow, as they usually both go straight downhill on cleaning days.

Repulsed, repulsed, repulsed. Such a lovely word.