In like a lion...

True to the old saying, March has come "in like a lion" this year. We have not updated the blog very well this past week because we've been too busy trying to reconcile our hearts and our minds to what has happened. I still can't even believe it's true. It really is like a bad dream from which you can't wake.

Our precious dog, Daisy Mae, has cancer.

We found out Friday morning after our suspicions about a lump we'd felt in her side for a while now led us to the vet's office. I stayed home with Tyler while Danny took Daisy for her appointment. When he hadn't returned in two hours, I knew there was a problem. Come to find out, the doctor felt the lump and couldn't decide if what he was feeling was just between the skin and the muscle or if it was a mass growing from an internal organ. When he decided the latter was probably the case, he did x-rays that confirmed his hypothesis. His first inclination was that the mass was growing from her spleen which led to three options, two of which involved surgery. Before he moved any further, however, he wanted to keep Daisy and do an ultrasound to see if he could find any more information. So, Danny came home without Daisy and told me the news.

Complete shock. That's all I can tell you. Daisy will be seven years old in two weeks. While I knew she wouldn't live forever, I certainly thought we had several more good years with her. Apparently, I was wrong.

The doctor met with us later on Friday to discuss our options. He still thought she had a mass on her spleen and his recommendation was to do surgery to see if the mass was malignant or not. No malignancy, obviously, would mean great things in terms of her life expectancy. He discussed the details with us and gave us an estimate of the cost. With a newborn baby to consider, we opted to think about the surgery over the weekend and let the doctor know our decision.

Ultimately, we decided to move forward with the procedure. I see Daisy as a member of our family, and I feel responsible for her well-being. She's never been sick a day in her life, so helping her now was the least we could do. The surgery was set for Monday.

We took away her food at 8 p.m. the night before her procedure and said lots of prayers and gave lots of rubs and hugs and kisses. It all seemed very surreal, and I kept telling Danny that I just knew she would be fine. I guess I was protecting my heart the best way I knew how...with positive energy. It worked for a while.

Danny dropped Daisy off Monday morning on his way to work. He left our home number and his work number with the doctor, and I spent many moments that morning praying that I wouldn't be the one to get the call. The Lord blessed me, and the doctor just missed me at home, so he reached Danny at work.

Dismal news. The vet opened Daisy's abdomen only to be greeted by a mass that he described as "the size of a volleyball." He was able to confirm that the mass was not growing off the spleen, but it was so large that he couldn't tell exactly from which organ it was growing. It was, however, definitely a malignant cancer...no biopsy needed. He tried to pull the mass out from within her abdomen just to get a closer look, but it was so large and so encased within her belly that he decided he would be putting her life in jeopardy if he did too much. So, he closed her up.

And, he told us she had about a month to live.

I can't tell you how terrible it was to see her come home with a huge incision knowing that that cancerous mass was still in her body. I had hoped that he would, at least, be able to get it out of her, but it wasn't going anywhere. She spent the majority of Monday night pacing the house until she was so exhausted a little after midnight that she finally found a way to lower her body enough to lay down. I "slept" on the couch that night so I could keep an eye on her. I was worried sick, so there wasn't much sleeping and I had to take stomach medicine to settle my nerves. Not pleasant.

Tuesday, she was feeling a little better. I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart to buy her some fattening wet dog food to help stimulate her appetite and to make it easier to give her her pain meds. By Wednesday, she was acting a whole lot more like herself, and she had figured out that we were feeling sorry for her because she has now decided that she deserves a treat for every breath she takes and wet food for every meal. I can't blame her. And, we are obliging.

Bless her heart. She has been, by far, the best dog I have ever known. She has always been a "Daddy's dog," but I have never felt safer than when Daisy has lived with us. I was so much more at ease when Danny was deployed because I knew Daisy would bark at the slightest oddity, and her barks are big dog barks that could be interpreted as dangerous. I like that in a dog.

I just keep seeing that little, black ball of fur that I picked out among all the other puppies at the PetSmart adoption day in Knoxville, TN (if my darn scanner weren't acting up tonight, I'd share some baby Daisy photos with you...she was adorable!). We were supposed to be packing Danny's apartment and moving him back to Georgia after his law school graduation. Instead, we spent the better part of the day adopting Daisy. Danny has always said he couldn't resist my big, brown eyes and her little, puppy brown eyes looking at him with that, "Don't you want to keep us?" look. I guess we worked it pretty well! He kept us both! She rode all the way to Georgia in my lap, and she used the cup holder in Danny's old truck as a toilet. She had us from hello.

So, we are trying to live our lives as normally as possible while we try to accept the fact that Daisy's days are numbered. We won't let her live to the point of misery; we'll put her down before it comes to that. But, it's hard to think about her absence from our lives when she's still so present. It's really just a terrible thing for us and for those who have known and loved Daisy. Anyone who has ever loved a pet must understand this devastation. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I can't decide if that's true to me anymore...

Daisy and Danny on Saturday, pre-surgery.

Daisy, pre-surgery. Her belly was shaved for the ultrasound.

Danny and Daisy, post-surgery, Tuesday. You can see where her little arm was shaved for her IV, and her tummy got a closer shave before her procedure.

IN HAPPIER NEWS...

[I have tried to format the rest of this blog entry about 600 times, but it won't publish the spaces correctly. I give up. Sorry.]

Tyler Reed is a growing little man! While Daisy was having surgery on Monday, Tyler went to the doctor for his two-month check-up. Our child is way above-average, as if you couldn't already tell... :)

Tyler is in the 98th percentile for his head size...42 centimeters around. Hey, he gets it honestly. Danny and I both have large heads and long faces, so he's got genetics to deal with. Poor thing.

He is in the 94th percentile for length, measuring 24 1/2 inches. Well, his Daddy is tall, so there you have it!

And, he is in the 90th percentile for weight, weighing in at 13.4 pounds. That comes honestly, too, but we won't discuss his parents' girths here.

When I tell you we have a little linebacker on our hands, I am not kidding you!

The doctor was pleased with Ty's health and growth. He even gave us the green light to add one ounce to his bottles, which has made a world of difference. He still can only have 28 ounces of milk per day, but I can give him a few five ounce bottles which helps him go longer between meals. At four ounces, he eats every two hours. With five, he can go three to three-and-a-half hours between meals. It makes life easier for me, for sure. And, I can tell he is more satisfied.

Ty finished up his visit with a trip to Immunizations (it's a separate place when you're in a military facility). He sucked down the Rotateq oral vaccine...one very positive side effect of his healthy appetite, and he got three other pokes in his thighs. Poor thing. He cried until I picked him up and covered him in kisses, then all was well with the world. I gave him Tylenol for 48 hours, just to ward off any pain, and he's been totally fine. We'll return for another health check and more shots at four months. Can you even imagine how big he'll be by then???

Here are a few recent photos to keep you entertained:

Playing on his Daddy's blanket

We get lots of sweet smiles, coos, and giggles these days. They almost erase the memories of our first few weeks with him when he was a human blob, but not enough to get him a sibling anytime soon!


Last, but not least, we have discovered that Tyler is a basketball fan. No kidding. On two different occasions he has let out a yelp of disdain when someone has been blocking the t.v. while a game was on. I promise I am not making this up; ask Danny. This is a picture of Danny and Ty watching a game on Saturday afternoon...it could have been Tennessee or the Spurs...I can't remember.

We hope your March is off to a little more lamb-like start than ours!