Cancer

I have collected several happy things to share with you from experiences throughout the weekend, but on Sunday night, my outlook changed.

My grandmother (whom you all know I love more than almost anyone else in the world) called to tell me that her cancer has returned and it is in her lymph nodes. I cried while she was telling me (I didn't let her hear, of course), and now I am struggling with both guilt and anger.

We've known that her health has been declining for several years, and I can remember praying, "Please, God, let her live to see me get married"; "Please, God, let her live until I can get home again", "Please, God, let her live until the next time I can see her"; "Please, God, let her live to see me pregnant." So far, God has answered all those prayers. I hope he's got a few more in him.

Now, my prayer is selfish again. It has changed to, "Please, God, let her live to hold my baby."

There are so many things to pray for in this world; I know this is not earth-shattering. But, if you can, please pray for her strength to fight this disease as much as possible, and please pray that she'll be able to one day hold her first great-grandchild.

Love to you all.